So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
