Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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