im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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