32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
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