Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
