can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
