How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
