No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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