Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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