eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
