she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
