Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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