My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
