you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
