Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
only you would photoshop your dick
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
