Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have fence marks all over my body
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
A+ Viking dick
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
