i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You were trust falling into bushes
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
