Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
there is glitter all over my balls
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