just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
