Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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