id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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