To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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