Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
