me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
