We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
operation harelip BJ is a go
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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