i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
