Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
