I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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