went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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