Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
