I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
