fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
