So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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