the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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