dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
