I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
