My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
