put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
