you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Still dying that you shit outside
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
