is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
