i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
