Sry I called you an 8
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
