what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
