I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
