yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
