all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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