on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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