i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
