Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
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