I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
