Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
