Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
